The Secret Lives of Diaries


Moving Onward

Posted in Relationships by secretlives on April 17, 2006

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April 17, 2006 

I promised myself that I wouldn’t give up on this marriage until I knew I had done everything I could to help us recover and grow. We’ve had some really painful stuff to go through in the past six years. Out of 24 years of marriage. We’ve done a lot of recovering, but you can’t undo the damage. Just hope to heal some and move on. Lately I find myself asking, how do I know when I’ve done all I can do?

mare
age 47

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4 Responses to 'Moving Onward'

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  1. secretlives said,

    My wife and I have been married for twenty-four years as well. We too went through a period of great difficulty, but thank God that's over now. We've untied some big knots and have found that the memories of 'the struggle' are a part of our strength. I wish you and your husband well.

  2. mare said,

    Thank you for the good wishes. I’m glad you were able to “untie some big knots”, whatever that means to you. And that memories of the struggle are part of your strength. We’re at the point where memories of the struggle are just painful, and seem to tighten things rather than loosen. We’re working hard, doing lots of therapy, so we’ll see. I certainly believe that Relationship is the biggest challenge life gives us. A good one is worth a lot of work. Perhaps a good one can’t happen without a lot of work. But just because you work hard, unfortunately it doesn’t guarantee a good relationship.

    mare (in a negative mood)
    age 47

  3. mare said,

    Last night he told me he “cared for me a lot”. This was supposed to reassure me. Instead it sank into me like a heavy stone into a pond. It’s been settling deeper into the muck all day. I respect his honesty. I yearn for love.

  4. secretlives said,

    One of the things I’ve observed in couples is that those that stay together for the long haul experience several marriages, with one another.

    Giovanni
    56


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